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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Famous Tea - Too Fat To Run

Name: Famous Tea
Album: Too Fat To Run
Year: 1992
Style: Hard-Core Punk
Similar Bands: Butt Trumpet, Early NOFX, Green Jelly
"One-Word" Review: filth-speed-punk
Based Out Of: Huntington Beach, Ca
Label: Juicy Butt Records
Too Fat To Run - Cover & Lyric Sheet
Too Fat To Run - Back & Lyric Sheet
Too Fat To Run - Record

Too Fat To Run (1992)
  1. Too Fat To Run 2:01
  2. Guacamole 2:47
  3. No Go 2:16
  4. Just Don't Know Any Better 2:08
  5. Kill the Mole 2:07
  6. Sick 3:21
  7. Famous Tea 2:12
  8. Pin Ho Chun 2:55
  9. Converned Citizens 3:38
  10. Offensive 2:50
  11. Far Too Polite 1:50
  12. Blatently Friendly 4:00
  13. Frantic 1:52
Album Rating (1-10): 1.0

Members & Other Bands:
Ken Norman - Vox
Alan "Shortstack" Dominquez - Drums
Ernie Grimm - Bass
Ken Auto Hayler - Guitar
Eric Meyer - Guitar (live)
Donnell Cameron - Engineer
Joe Peccerillo - Asst. Engineer
Cathi Miller C.K. - Artwork

Unknown-ness: Never heard of these guys. A friend found the record at a thrift store, and bought it because of its pretty red vinyl and potential for wacki-ness. After hearing it, she thought it was terrible and just left it at my place. It looks like sick and raunchy DIY punk, but perhaps it is somewhat silly and/or redeeming.

Album Review: The album starts off with its namesake track “Too Fat To Run.” A mistake/start over on the drums, and the song takes off with fast driving drums, heavy guitars, bass and cursing and angry lyrics. The vocals are not good at all, less melodic than Butt Trumpet, who they seem to be like, but not anywhere close as good. “Guacamole” reminds me of NoFx’s STD song from Ribbed. The music is heavy and fast, but the vocals feel like they are indifferent, spoken too silly to feel connected to the song. The dirtyness of living styles presented in these songs also mimic’s the atmosphere NoFX that creates. “No Go” is a sexually frustrated song, but again, the vocals lack the interest or really any musical credibility. “Just Don’t Know Any Better” less musical than Dead Milkmen and Henry Rollins, these songs don’t even come off as humorous. The worst part is that the way he ends his lyrical stanzas, they just don’t fit. “Kill The Moll” feels rushed. It falls in line in the masculine, misogynistic, filthy (actual anti-cleanliness, as well as cursing) and just a bad piece of work. It doesn’t feel funny or ironic or sarcastic, but I can only home it is. “Sick” is just that, about being sick, and it is about sick that is vomited up. The music is fast, driving, as it is on every track, but that’s the spirit of dirty-punk music. There are occasional metal-guitar solos too. “Famous Tea” it a very quick/fast punk song. And of course it includes fecal jokes and gross humor. There is a slower breakdown, with sing-shanty cartoon melodies before it comes back to finish off the barrage of noise and filth. “Pin Ho Chun” is a poop term parade. Nothing new here. “Concerned Citizens” starts with a melodic guitar section, then the vocals begin and the punk song begins. It is a sarcastic list of parental guidance concerns. They even name drop themselves as something to be avoided, sarcastically, of course. Offensive has a little more singing that the rest of the album yet...very very little. They trying to be offensive to every person they could think of, which is limited to women, gays and fat people. “Far Too Polite” is an “idiot’s guide” to be less of a pushover. “Blatantly Friendly” contains more sexually frustrated lyrics. And more driving metal punk. “Frantic” is the last song, and it begins slow, and somewhat westernish. Then explodes into “just f-n’ play/we’re frantic” over & over again. Finally, it is over.

This album really sucks, and if it is trying to be offensive or sarcastic, everything falls short. It feels like the work of an 8th grader who just discovered a dirty internet porn website, and they don’t quite understand it, but giggle at all the words and terms. Somewhat pathetic even.

Stand-Out Track:

Famous Tea - Myspace
Famous Tea - Blog thread
Famous Tea - Live Video
Famous Tea - Podcast Directory
Famous Tea - Sampler Review
Famous Tea - Review Read Junk


  1. Of all the reviews I've ever seen this one has to be the most accurate and and totally captures the essence of the album. I agree 100% with with your comments of, "not good at all"..."lack musical credibility"..."sucks"....and I should know, I'm in the band!
    Thank you.

  2. Yeah, but they put on a helluva show!

  3. I love the band but you also got to love that artwork. Have you ever seen such a graceful roller-skater?

    Slappy Bones

  4. Too bad you never had a chance to experience the band live. Jars of “Tea” passed around for consumption(yes tea just like in the song), nudity (male only), technical difficulties, vomit drinking. I couldn’t imagine the review then.

  5. Definitely fucked up on reviewing:

    What you MEANT to say is that this band is AMAZING, and BRILLIANT. It's no big deal though, everyone make mistakes.

    Classic punk rock, start to finish. Everything from "It smells fucking horrible, and the color of it is green!" to "Blatenly friendly all the time!"

    Amazing and influential (as long as you don't have a shitty taste in music) orange county band. And I'll put my name on the line for that.

  6. Holy Sh-t Mrs. Hayder, can you believe there are actually individuals out there who would insult your luscious excremental brew like that? Your recipe shall one day be recovered from the depths of the gutter and brought back to the lips of those who thirst for something different! Something you cannot hear on the radio, you cannot classify and you probably don't want to hear very often. Precisely why they drift into anonymity and are brought back approx. every 10 years from the butcher shop to play a few shows....we demand a reincarnation! We want Tea!!